The second-to-last page was in a way the cornerstone of the entire book. I couldn't feel so sure that this whole thing was an accident after discovering that "wet" and "dry" followed the "empty" and "full" thing. Especially taking the provided illustration into consideration. Above, Bob is holding a hose at the same level as his loins and emptying it onto a flower, which everyone in the free world knows is another way to say pussy. Could there possible be more thinly-veiled dick and cunt references in this book? Why don't they just print a big picture of a cock and balls on pages 9 & 10? It could be "flaccid" and "erect". I probably don't need to point out that the substance coming out of the hose is way too viscous to be water. Bob is using his hose to squirt jizzum all over the flower bed. Oh, My God.
The thing that struck me the most about this whole book was that none of the pairs of opposites would have produced more than a snicker as standalones. Well, and without their pornographic illustrations. It is only in the totality of this publication that they become a masterwork of total raunchy-ness. In addition, the back cover informs us that the book is a "Super Chubby", which I hope refers to the cardboard pages and not to something along the the lines of Nathan Lane in The Birdcage.
True, the opposite of hard is soft, but why did they put that big nasty pencil there and have him hold a cat?
And likewise, the opposite of wet is dry, but why is he holding that fucking hose by his groin and squirting it all over the flowers?!
I don't even know what to say about the loose & tight and empty & full pages. I just remember very distinctly that when I was a child, the leading book about opposites was endorsed by Grover Monster from Sesame Street. Grover did opposites like "near and far," which can not be made sexual even by trying very hard. What the hell is with kid's products these days? Nobody ever had to worry that the Muppets might be tossing each other's salad or snowballing one another off camera. Gordon wasn't rim-jobbing anybody, and Maria never had gang sex. That is the way children's characters are supposed to be.
Well, okay. Bow from She-Ra was remarkably homosexual.
Anyway, I can only conclude that "Let's Find Opposites" was either very poorly edited by people with no sense of the vernacular, or that the writer was very pissed off and had no editor. Kind of like the fabled phallus spires on the cover of the Little Mermaid, something.
Anyway, just remember: flaccid...and erect.