I just opened it up, kind of curious about this Bob the Builder fellow I'd never really heard much about. I figured it was something akin to the mid-90s Thomas the Train series. A continuation of the cute yet technologically competent and educational children's character theme.
Little did I know that the book was actually all about raunchy sexual insinuations.
The first set of opposites was "soft" and "hard", as you can see from the provided scan. Honestly, that is worth a snicker or two, in that sort of "I'm a pervert, but of course this was completely unintentional and I'm bad for finding sexual innuendos in a children's product" kind of way.
Kind of like when you make pot-shot sex jokes at Mr. Rogers's expense. It's so easy to do, especially when you think about the fact that he probably kept all those children as catamites in the closet behind the fish tank. But you know that deep down it makes you bad.
However, when I looked back after reading the rest of the book in its gruesome entirety, the accompanying illustrations cause the whole thing to transcend filth into a sort of nastiness that normally only people like Howard Stern pick up on. I don't care what anyone says, this is way nastier than the fucking Teletubbies could ever get.
And look how easy they made it. On the left page he talks about the adjective "soft" while holding a cat, also known as a pussy. On the right, he says, "It's hard," while gesturing to that big pencil-pecker-erection poking up from his loins. What the shit, dude?